I had a 12 hour shift yesterday and then went to Ol’s place cause he left today and I thought it’d just be us two watching tv or something but there was abig party there and his flatmate who is my ex’s cousin was being really flirty and I feel terrible because I kinda guess I like, you know, the feeling of being wanted, but he is an alcoholic and the whole relation to my ex would be too strange to ever do anything — then after a night just w/e with ol I crashed on the couch and he came downstairs at 5am and just got on the couch too and started grabbing me and trying to kiss me and he’s way way bigger than me and it was pretty scary and idk it was super weird and he drank 5 beers at 5am even though he had blacked out earlier and then was drinking wine when I left the house later that morning
anyway I feel super weird and upset about the whole thing and upset with myself for being a tease or something